


In Which Hide was Right and Kaneki far too Trusting

by WonderlandTrash



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Ambiguous Ghouls, Lost Phone AU, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-18
Updated: 2015-10-13
Packaged: 2018-03-23 14:40:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3772039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WonderlandTrash/pseuds/WonderlandTrash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"“You’re calling it?” Kaneki asked. He doubted anyone would-<br/>“Holy shit someone’s picking up!” Hide yelled as a voice sounded through the speaker.<br/>“Bonjour?”<br/>Hide was silent as he held the phone out. He stared at Kaneki in a panic."</p><p>Kaneki was unlucky enough to lose his cell phone. A charming stranger was lucky enough to find it. Hide was tired of trying to talk sense into his best friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Camellia

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for a friend after she lost her phone on the bus. I tried to make light of a shitty situation. Now I'm posting it to try and figure out how AO3 works.

The contents of Kaneki’s bag had been dumped across his bed, while his coat was tossed across the back of his desk chair. The pockets were turned out, coins and pocket lint scattered near the legs of the chair. For all of is frantic searching though he could not find it. Defeated, Kaneki dropped onto his bed. A new phone was not something he could afford at this time. Hell he could barely afford the one he currently possessed (in terms of ownership at least; its current whereabouts being the cause of his worry).

When it came to luck Kaneki always seemed to be shit out of it. Losing his phone was the most recent of unfortunate happenings. A few weeks prior he had gone on a disastrous date: she had only wanted a free book and meal it seemed. His texts and phone calls went unanswered after what he thought had been a nice night and after a week of being ignored he simply gave up. She never tried to contact him and that was that.

Kaneki sighed and laid back on his small bed. Papers, mostly school notes crumpled under his back but he paid them no mind. Looking up at the ceiling he wondered why he was replaying the events of that date over and over. It had not been a bad date as far as he thought. Maybe she had thought it too boring though. Maybe she thought him too boring. Or maybe he had been too eager, too excited? Hide was probably been right in saying she was out of his league. Kaneki rolled onto his side. His eyes closed in exasperation. He could not do anything about his failed date, but he could at least attempt to find his phone.

Sitting up he tried to remember where he had lost it. It must have fallen out of his pocket at some point during the day. It had been a school day though and he had been all over campus. There were hundreds of places it could be, and even more people who could have stolen it.

The doorbell rang before he could properly consider the logistics of finding it. Kaneki scrambled to stand and rushed over to the front door. He unlocked the bolt and the door swung open on its own, his visitor having been leaning on it with his hand already turning the handle.

Hide stumbled into the apartment, catching himself before he completely fell over. He held up a plastic bag in offering and the smells wafting from it made Kaneki’s stomach grumble.

“Thought you could use a burger,” Hide smiled as pushed past Kaneki. He could not stop the grin that spread across his face. Hide always knew best. Kaneki closed the door behind him as Hide rushed towards the living room. Kaneki took the time to straighten Hide’s shoes on the mat before joining him on the floor. 

Hide was already taking the food out of the bag. “I tried texting but you never answered so you get your usual.” He pushed a burger towards Kaneki while unwrapping his own.

“Actually now that I think about it you haven’t answered any of my texts today. Something up?” Hide did not look too concerned but Kaneki could hear it in his voice.

“I lost my phone,” Kaneki admitted before taking a bit of his burger. In his panic he had forgotten how hungry he was. The food was still warm and stopped his stomach’s loud noises.

“Shit like at home? Or on campus or what?”

Kaneki shook his head. “Not at home. Probably on campus or between here and campus or anywhere really. I don’t know when I would have lost it.”

Hide nodded as he ate, chewing thoroughly while thinking. He swallowed and set what remained of his burger down. Before Kaneki realized what Hide was doing he had his phone out and the dial tone was ringing.

“You’re calling it?” Kaneki asked. He doubted anyone would-

“Holy shit someone’s picking up!” Hide yelled as a voice sounded through the speaker.

“ _Bonjour?_ ”

Hide was silent as he held the phone out. He stared at Kaneki in a panic.

“French?” he mouthed. Kaneki sighed and reached over the table.

“ _Bonjour? This wouldn’t happen to be the owner of this phone speaking would it? An answer would be appreciated.”_

The speaker’s charming voice could not mask the frustration that slipped in through his words. No doubt he had heard Hide’s yelling and was now thought he was rudely being ignored.

 “Give me the phone,” Kaneki told Hide in exasperation equal to the strangers.  

“Holy shit who picks up a stranger’s phone?” Hide said as he handed the phone over, being needlessly loud at this point.

Kaneki held to phone to his ear, walking into the hall to escape Hide from continuing to ‘help’ him. His help was only causing annoyance on both parts and Kaneki actually wanted to see his phone returned.

“Sorry, yes this is the phone’s owner.”

“ _Excellente, I am happy to hear it is not that annoying, yelling boy_.” The man on the other line sounded less frustrated now, although there was still a hint of forced politeness in his voice. He probably thought he was talking to two idiots.

“I’m sorry about him. He was trying to help but I don’t think he knew what he was doing exactly.” Kaneki forced out a laugh.

“I heard that!” Hide yelled from the living room.

Clearly the man on the phone did too. He chuckled into the speaker and Kaneki decided that he rather liked the sound.

“Anyways,” Kaneki cleared his throat, “where did you find my phone?”

“ _Café. It was nestled in between the cushions of an armchair. Quelle surprise when my seat began to vibrate_.”

So it had fallen out of his pocket. What a relief it was for this man to have picked up. Finally a well-deserved stroke of luck.

“I’m so relieved it was found.” 

“ _I can imagine. The stress and dangers of losing such a… personal object can be insurmountable. You would not want the wrong sort of person to find it.”_

“That’s true. I- umm, I certainly hope you aren’t the ‘wrong sort of person’?” Kaneki’s awkward laugh filled the silence that followed. He hoped he had not insulted the man. The line was filled with that same pleasant chuckle though and Kaneki knew that no harm had been done.

“ _No, no I was simply teasing. I have no need for the information on your phone. I’ll return it to you as soon as I can.”_

“Then… I’m glad you were the one to pick up,” there was no hiding the sincerity in his voice. The man seemed to pick up on it too.

“ _Then how about at dinner tomorrow night? My treat to compensate for your troubles. I can imagine losing your phone has caused you unnecessary stress_.”

Kaneki was taken aback by such sudden generosity, to a stranger no less.  “My troubles? But I’m putting you out. I should be treating you, I-”

“ _Non!”_ The man was quick to cut Kaneki off. “ _My treat, I insist upon it.”_ The tone of his voice had slipped into something lower, something much more coercive.

Kaneki stalled. To be a burden to someone he had only spoken to once on the phone, someone who was doing him a great service by finding his phone did not sit well with him. He opened his mouth to speak but was too slow.

“ _Please_ ,” the man said, and his voice was softer. “ _I guarantee you it will not be putting me out in the least_.”

“I-” Kaneki wanted to object further, but part of him was almost flattered to be asked to dinner, and by such a charming individual at that.

“Alright,” Kaneki accepted the invitation, relenting to the man with the pleasant voice. “Dinner tomorrow night.”  

“ _Bien! I shall be at your building at 7pm sharp. Semi-formal wear will suffice, nothing too fancy but enough even a starving student could-”_

“Wait, I didn’t even get your name.” Kaneki had to be quick to get his word in. The man sounded like he was about to go off on a tangent, losing Kaneki in his quickly spoken words.

 _“Quelle domage, desole! I jumped ahead in excitement. Tsukiyama Shuu at your service_.”

“Kaneki Ken,” was the small reply.  

\---

Tsukiyama closed the phone with a sharp snap. His smirk read satisfaction.

He had not been entirely honest. It was not a strong suit of his. True, he had found the phone. It had been earlier than he implied though. By the time Hide called Tsukiyama had already scrolled through the phone’s contents. Kaneki was far too trusting to not set a lock on such a personal device.

Tsukiyama did not look for banking information or credit card numbers no; those things were of no use to him. He was interested in the person the phone belonged too, the individual that had put his personal touch to the device. He was interested in people. People like Kaneki Ken: age 19, 1st year student at Kamii University, blood type AB, with very few friends judging by the amount of open threads in his texts. That was confirmed as Tsukiyama scrolled through Kaneki’s contacts. It was perfect.

No one to miss him.

The few photos the phone contained interested Tsukiyama the most. Most where scenic: the university during autumn, the inside of an apartment, an old bookstore. Few were of the owner himself, or at least Tsukiyama assumed it to be Kaneki. The shy face suited the voice he had heard, so grateful and endearing. He had a small smile but a bright light in his eyes. The only way Tsukiyama could accurately describe the boy in the pictures was ‘sweet’. Soon he would properly see just how sweet he could be.

Tsukiyama licked his lips. He simply could not wait for the coming evening.

\---

“And you just agreed to go to dinner with this guy?” Hide was shocked by Kaneki’s brash action. He had tried to talk him out of it yesterday but had made no change in Kaneki’s decision. Honestly it just seemed out of character for him. It had taken him ages to ask Rize out, and now he was suddenly spending the evening with a complete stranger? Hide did not like his decision one bit and was down to this one last ditch effort.

“He seems really nice, kind of charming-“

“Do you know what kind of people are charming? Sociopaths.” 

Kaneki frowned, opting to ignore Hide. “Besides,” he continued, acting as if Hide had never cut him off, “I have to get my phone back anyways so what’s the harm in dinner too?”

“A lot if it’s the wrong kind of person,” Hide huffed. He sat on Kaneki’s bed, arms crossed and his usual smile absent.

“And what’s the wrong kind of person?” Kaneki asked, humouring Hide’s concern as he continued in getting ready. He stood in front of a mirror, tying a black tie around his neck.

“A ghoul.”

Silence filled the room. Kaneki’s movements slowed for a moment before he caught himself and continued in tying the knot around his neck.

“You think he’s a ghoul?”

“You never know!” Hide exclaimed. He shot to his feet.

“Don’t you find this suspicious at all? Guy finds your phone, is a little too friendly with you, invites you to this fancy ass dinner, knows where you live? You said he was picking you up and you never told him your address. That’s weird.”

Kaneki looked at Hide’s reflection in the mirror. He looked frustrated. Kaneki knew Hide was only worried about him but this was too much. He was capable of making his own decisions and judging character for himself.  

“He probably looked through the phone’s information to return it to the owner. I don’t have anything too personal on their so I really don’t mind.” Kaneki shrugged his shoulders dismissively.

“Looking through someone’s phone is weird! That is such an invasion of privacy.”

“You invade my privacy all the time,” Kaneki shot back. He was getting tired of Hide’s arguments.

“That’s different. I’m your best friend and it’s to embarrass you. Not freaking stalk you.”

Kaneki sighed. He grabbed his jacket off the back of his chair and approached Hide. He put a hand on his shoulder and looked him in the eyes, smiling softly.

“Hide, please. I appreciate you worrying about me, I really do. But I’m still going. I’ll be fine.” Kaneki removed his hand from his shoulder and shrugged his jacket on.

“If it makes you feel better I’ll text you when I get my phone back. Let you know if this guy is a major creep or not.”

This did not seem to fully satisfy Hide. His expression was unsure, lips in a half scowl, eyebrow raised. It was enough though to get him off of Kaneki’s back. “Fine. Text me. If he tries to eat you though don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“We’ll write ‘didn’t listen to Hide’ on my tombstone,” Kaneki joked. Hide rolled his eyes and slung an arm around Kaneki’s shoulders.

“You are going to be the death of me.”

\---

Hide had already turned the corner down the block by the time the car pulled up. Tsukiyama stepped out of the back. His watch read 7:00 pm exactly. A gentleman was never late for an engagement. His shiny black shoes clicked against the concrete sidewalk with every sure footfall. His entire being exuded a confidence that one could not fake. It was the kind that came from a life of privilege and self-assurance, one that very few people ever saw. Tsukiyama rang the door-bell to the small apartment, smoothing down the already flat lapels of his jacket as he waited for an answer.

Kaneki promptly opened the door. Tsukiyama was punctual, a far cry from Hide’s approximate arrival times. Tsukiyama was far from what Kaneki had expected, although the voice and language definitely matched with his outer appearance. Tsukiyama wore a smartly cut suit though the colours were quite vivid. Yet he made it work, much like how a runway model could look stunning in the bizarre styles of high fashion.

“ _Bon soir_ Kaneki-kun,” Tsukiyama said with a grand flourish. Kaneki stood awkwardly in the doorway. He had managed to lose track of his words, taken as he was by Tsukiyama’s model like appearance.

“Good evening, Tsukiyama-san,” Kaneki rushed out afterwards, having realized how silly he must have looked. Tsukiyama chuckled good-naturedly. How endearing he found Kaneki in his charming attempt at semiformal clothing. His pants were fine and the white button down and tie, while far from creative, were perfectly acceptable. His shoes though, well they gave it all away. Sneakers; did the poor boy not own a decent pair of dress shoes?

“Shall we? The car is waiting.”

Well, sneakers aside Kaneki looked positively delicious. 

“The car?” Kaneki asked as he locked up. He had assumed they would be walking or taking public transportation but that was before he had seen Tsukiyama. After seeing him up close a car made sense. Tsukiyama’s clothing screamed money.

“Private chauffeur,” Tsukiyama replied with a wink. “You did not think I would have us walk did you?”

“I was thinking more along the lines of the train,” was Kaneki’s honest reply to the rhetorical question. Tsukiyama held the car door open for Kaneki. Kaneki ducked inside the car and was surprised by how spacious the back was.

“Public transportation is not in my repertoire. You’ll see how much more convenient this is.” Tsukiyama slid in beside Kaneki, closing the door behind him. The driver started the car once both passengers were comfortably seated. Kaneki jumped slightly when he heard the partition going up, dividing the driver from the passengers. Kaneki barely noticed the car lurch forward. The motor was so silent and the car drove smoothly.

Kaneki sat still. His hands were clenched, his knees pressed tightly together. The car looked more expensive than the combined worth of all of Kaneki’s possessions. He was suddenly very uncomfortable with this dinner. He was definitely taking advantage of Tsukiyama’s generosity.  

Tsukiyama though looked perfectly at ease. He was used to being driven around that much was obvious. Kaneki did not know where to look. Whenever he looked over at Tsukiyama out of the corner of his eye he could see him staring back. Tsukiyama would smile charmingly and Kaneki quickly look away in embarrassment. He settled on the window. It was easy to watch the scenery pass by.

“Ah, before I forget,” Tsukiyama said absently a few minutes into their car ride. He reached into his jacket and pulled out Kaneki’s phone. “ _Pour vous_.”

Kaneki took his phone. He was relieved to feel the familiar weight in his hand. He flipped it open and found the battery dead. He should not have been surprised. Texting Hide would not happen after all. Hopefully he would not worry too much. The last thing he needed was a missing person’s report filed for him.

“Thank you. I know I said it before but I’m really glad you found my phone.” Kaneki’s smile was sincere and far too beautiful. Tsukiyama almost regretted his actions. Almost.

“I’m simply being a good Samaritan. I should think you would do the same if you found a lost item?”

Kaneki nodded. “Yes, I’d do whatever I could to make sure it’s returned to its owner.”

“Exactly! So the only thanks I need is for you to enjoy yourself tonight. Think of it as a reward for what I’m sure is a generous life you lead.”

“You barely know me,” Kaneki said quietly. Tsukiyama assumed far too much about him.

Tsukiyama leaned in closer. Their knees brushed together. Kaneki felt a pleasant shiver run down his spine.

“Then let tonight be my opportunity to.”

\---

“Finest Italian in the city, although my tastes are more suited to French cuisine,” Tsukyiama declared as they exited the car. “I’m positive you’ll enjoy it. The chef makes a cream sauce that is _magnifique_. Pairs incredibly well with a dry white I’m sure you’ll find-“

Kaneki had learned that Tsukiyama was well versed in the ability to make polite conversation, perhaps to the point where it could be considered that he spoke too much. Still, he was an interesting man to talk to and he would stop talking whenever Kaneki spoke up. He listened well, leaning in when Kaneki spoke, showing interest in whatever it was Kaneki said. It was a rare combination to find someone so fond of their own voice yet so willing to listen intently when their conversation partner was speaking. Tsukiyama certainly ruled the conversation but he seemed to be most happy when it was Kaneki who spoke.

Tsukiyama held the restaurant door open for Kaneki. The pair entered and suddenly Kaneki was too aware of his own clothing. He was hardly dressed for semi-formal and clearly the restaurant had a much higher dress code. The pearls on the woman the table over and the expensive suits the wait staff wore indicated as much. Kaneki looked down at his sneakers.

“I’m underdressed aren’t I?” Kaneki asked shyly. Tsukiyama pressed a hand against Kaneki’s shoulder, gently steering him away from the main dining area.

“A tad yes. But if you fear being rejected from the premises there are no worries.” Tsukiyama’s charming smile tried to conceal the truth he was so close to telling. They rounded a corner, most likely to private dinning chambers Kaneki assumed.

“And why would that be?” Kaneki questioned, his voice light.

“I own them.” Tsukiyama pushed open a set of large double doors, revealing a room lit by a grand chandelier. A table was set in the center, chairs set on either side. A menu was laid across one side of the table and a bucket filled with ice sat on a nearby cart. Kaneki could see the wine bottle sticking out of the bucket. Kaneki could not tell if he was relieved or made even more nervous by the private room. He did not have to suffer the disdainful glares from the other patrons yet being alone with Tsukiyama, completely alone… it was intimidating.

“You own the restaurant?” Tsukiyama pulled out the seat with the menu and held the back of the chair until Kaneki finally clued in and took his seat. Tsukiyama pushed the chair in. Kaneki did not miss the way his hand lightly ran along his shoulder blades.

“I own three actually.” There was a small pop from Tsukiyama uncorking the bottle of wine.

“Among other things.”

The wine flowed quite liberally afterwards. Kaneki, not being a wine connoisseur drank far faster than he should have. Tsukiyama though did little to stop him. He encouraged him with the constant refilling of his glass, pointing out the fruity undertones of the drink with every new glass. Kaneki was on his third glass by the time dinner was brought out while Tsukiyama continued to sip on his second.

The restaurant owner had been right about the cream sauce. Kaneki had never tasted something so rich and smooth. The pasta was cooked perfectly and the bread had to have been fresh baked not hours ago. Kaneki appreciated good food although his favourite hamburger cold not easily be replaced.

“I have seen you around that coffee shop before,” Tsukiyama admitted to Kaneki asking him about how often he frequented the small store.

“You have? I’ve, never seen you though,” Kaneki said thoughtfully. His face was scrunched, clearly searching for any memory of Tsukiyama in the shop.

“And you’d think I would. You’re so-” Kaneki stopped himself. His mouth was moving too freely.

“Oh? Please do continue the thought.” Tsukiyama leaned forward, chin resting on his propped up hands. Kaneki looked down as he twirled the remaining pasta on his plate around his fork.

“Conspicuous.”

“Oh.” Tsukiyama leaned away, disappointed in the answer. He tilted his wine glass back, neatly draining the rest of the liquid inside. Kaneki watched, eyes drawn to Tsukiyama’s neck. He gulped.

“Not in a bad way though! You’re just so different from most people.” Kaneki stopped again. That did not sound any better. He ducked his head again, returning to playing with his food. Tsukiyama’s chuckle drew his attention back.

 “I tease. I know my way of dressing could be considered flashy. Now let’s see, why have you never noticed me? The answer is simple. You always had that charming face of yours buried in a book. I don’t think I ever saw you look up once.”

That was true. Kaneki did get lost in his books once he started reading. He lost track of his surroundings, tuning out sound and visual alike.

“I find that endearing though. I appreciate anyone who can find themselves lost in the world of print. I too spend much of my time reading.”

From there the conversation became a lengthy discussion on literature: their likes and dislikes, favourite authors, books that held particular emotional meaning to them. The wine continued to flow. Laughter filled the high ceilings of the room. The hour grew late and dinner had long since been cleared away.

“Kaneki-kun,” Tsukiyama questioned, seeing that their second bottle of wine had run dry. “I was hoping you would continue to grace me with your company this evening? Coffee and dessert next?”

“Is there a dessert menu?” Kaneki looked around, expecting a server to bring another menu. Dessert and coffee sounded good. They had spent so long talking that he was hungry again.

“Oh not here. The tiramisu is good but I have something better at home.” The suggestion of the situation lingered though Tsukiyama left the offer very light and jovial. Kaneki could not tell what it was he intended though the memory of Tsukiyama’s hand less than politely on his back surfaced. 

Kaneki felt the red of his alcohol warmed face deepen. He had never even been on a date that ended up on the doorstep on either home. Was this even a date? All signs pointed to yes but it had never been specified and now Kaneki found himself in a panicked state of limbo. He had never been invited back to someone’s home, and now here he was on a very expensive dinner being asked to accompany a near stranger for coffee in their home. Kaneki ended up knocking over his empty wine glass.

“Kaneki-kun my apologies! I did not mean to make you uncomfortable with the offer. It was simply a passing thought I can bring you home instead.” Tsukiyama stood from his seat and went to stand next to Kaneki’s. He set the wine glass upright again. Kaneki caught his hand. Tsukiyama’s hand felt cool in his. Maybe that was the alcohol that made Kaneki feel so hot. Tsukiyama looked down at him, eyes searching Kaneki’s face for a reason behind his actions. He looked almost cute, confused like this.

“I thought tonight was your opportunity to get to know me.” Kaneki’s echoed words felt heavy on his tongue and rolled off slowly. An excited heat flashed through Tsukiyama’s eyes and Kaneki felt himself being pulled to his feet. He stumbled forward but Tsukiyama steadied him with a hand heavy on his waist, the other still holding Kaneki’s hand.

“So it would be a shame to let it end so soon…” The suggestion lingered in Kaneki’s words. He leaned forward, head resting against Tsukiyama’s chest. Tsukiyama was taken off guard. Kaneki was full of surprises. He had not expected the young man to be so forward, so willing.

Tsukiyama’s smile was polite, perfectly gentleman like but his eyes were darker. They read a dangerous satisfaction.

“It would be a shame.”

\---

Kaneki should not have been surprised when the elevator ascended to the top floor of the luxury condo building. After the other niceties of the evening it only made sense that Tsukiyama lived in such an expensive building. The elevator slid open and Tsukiyama ushered Kaneki forward. A hand rested at the small of his back. Kaneki could feel the feather light touch through his jacket. It was scorching.

He was growing used to the heat by now though. The car ride from the restaurant had been the most tense he had ever experienced. They sat in silence, Kaneki leaning against the door as he watched the street lights pass outside. He would chance glimpses at Tsukiyama. Sometimes he met his eyes but for most of the ride Tsukiyama stared out his own window. His foot tapped impatiently, but other than that he was perfectly still. Kaneki thought about making conversation but he honestly did not know what to say in that situation. He simply sat in perfect agony, body warm from the wine.

Tsukiyama became the perfect host again once they entered the building though. The pair walked down the hall until they reached Tsukiyama’s apartment. Even throughout the short walk Tsukiyama stayed too close, hand never leaving Kaneki’s back. It was nerve wracking yet exciting in a way Kaneki had never experienced. The butterflies in his stomach would not settle down no matter how much he tried to will them.

Kaneki’s stomach only flipped more as they entered the apartment. The décor was modern with a classic twist. Despite Tsukiyama’s colourful wardrobe the apartment was monochrome, the only colour coming from the flower arrangements placed on select tables. Kaneki followed Tsukiyama into the kitchen.

“That little coffee shop serves decent enough coffee but I believe you will find this more palatable.” Tsukiyama worked the high-end espresso machine while Kaneki took a seat at the kitchen table. The domesticity of Tsukiyama making coffee helped to calm his nerves. Tsukiyama turned his head at the sound of the chair scraping against the tiled floor.

“Oh not here. Please go seat yourself in the den make yourself comfortable.” Tsukiyama returned his attention to the machine that had now made loud sounds as the motor worked to push the steaming water through the tightly packed ground beans. Kaneki pushed the chair back in and went to sit in the den. The leather couch squelched as Kaneki sat down. The room was in pristine shape. Even the glass coffee table did not have a speck of dust on it. Large bookshelves took up an entire wall. They reached up into the high ceilings. Kaneki spied a footstool nearby, something surely needed to reach the higher shelves.

Tsukiyama entered the room a few moments later, a tray carried in his hands. He had lost his suit jacket somewhere along the way and had the sleeves of his shirt rolled up to his elbows. The tray was laden with two small cups on saucers, and two plates with small cakes on each one. Tsukiyama set the tray on the coffee table and sat. Kaneki felt the cushion sag under the increased weight.

“Now this is an espresso Kaneki-kun.” Tsukiyama bragged. He grabbed his cup and blew gently on the hot drink. Kaneki followed Tsukiyama’s actions and took his own cup. He blew before taking a sip of the espresso. Tsukiyama was right. This was superior coffee. It tasted richer, darker, and finished smoothly.

“It’s delicious,” Kaneki commented about the bitter drink. There was the clink of porcelain as Tsukiyama set his cup back on the tray. He picked up one of the plates and a small fork. Kaneki blinked as Tsukiyama held the fork out to his mouth, a bit of cake neatly skewered through its prongs.

“I promise it’s good.”

Kaneki leaned forward and ate the cake off the end of the fork. Tsukiyama watched him expectantly as he took a bite of his own.

“I wouldn’t doubt you and food by this point,” Kaneki teased. He took a sip of his espresso to wash the sweet cake down.

“I’m not a self-proclaimed gourmet for nothing. It’s my job to find local delicacies and shine a light on them. This cake comes from a fine little bakery only a few blocks away from here...”

Kaneki nodded and instead focused on his own cake. If Tsukiyama wanted to go off on a tangent that was fine, only as long as Kaneki had something better to distract himself with. And the distractions were abundant. He set his cake down and crossed the room over to the window. It was hidden behind a thick black curtain. Kaneki pushed it back. The view alone was worth the millions the apartment probably cost.

He could see so much of the city from here. The lights blurred together, creating a dazzling backdrop of colours that spanned farther than he could tell. He was so caught up in the view that he did not notice Tsukiyama slide up behind him. He saw his reflection in the window first, saw the soft apologetic smile on his face. Kaneki could feel Tsukiyama’s chest pressed against his back.

“Tsukiyama-san…” Kaneki said, his soft voice mingling with the quiet that had overtaken the room.      

“The view is beautiful is it not?” Tsukiyama asked softly. His hands slid along Kaneki’s shoulders, down his arms, coming to rest at his waist. From the reflection Kaneki could see that Tsukiyama was not looking out at the city, but instead down at him.

“It- it is,” Kaneki stammered, doing his best to keep his eyes looking past Tsukiyama’s reflection and out to the city’s skyline.

“I hope you don’t mind me saying but I think you are much more beautiful.” Tsukiyama’s breath was hot in Kaneki’s ear. He lips were far too close to his skin yet also not close enough. Kaneki loosened his tie slightly, the item suddenly feeling like it was strangling him.

“That’s very kind of you.”

Tsukiyama lowered his lips to the back of Kaneki’s neck. He softly brushed against the skin at first, mouth trailing feather light. Kaneki breathed in sharply, surprised by the contact. Tsukiyama interpreted that as a sign to continue. His kiss grew heavier, mouth clamping over skin, tongue licking here and there. Kaneki pressed his forehead against the window, his eyes sliding shut. Tsukiyama’s hands reached around Kaneki’s chest, completely loosening the tie and letting it fall to the floor. He undid the first few buttons of Kaneki’s shirt, baring his neck and shoulders.

Tsukiyama wanted to mark that pale, untouched skin. He wanted Kaneki to remember who he had been with whenever he looked in the mirror for days to come. Slowly though. _Calmato_. He had an entire night.

Tsukiyama turned Kaneki around. “I want to see your beautiful face,” he explained as he pressed Kaneki against the window, his weight heavy on the shorter man.

Kaneki was forced to look up, Tsukiyama’s hand guided his chin up until Kaneki had to look into Tsukiyama’s eyes. Possessive is what Kaneki would say he saw in those eyes. Yet so full of adoration, nearly worship, that Kaneki could not help but give in.

“Yes like that. Beautiful.” Tsukiyama leaned in. He smirked seeing how quickly Kaneki rose to meet him, how willing the young man was being. Kaneki ran his tongue along his bottom lip, a subconscious action that may have meant nothing but did so much to Tsukiyama. Tsukiyama quickly captured those lips with his own.

With the city as their backdrop Tsukiyama took Kaneki. The heat from their bodies steamed up the window and the cool glass quickly became warm from where Kaneki’s back was pressed into it. Their night did not stop there. Kaneki found himself carried to the bedroom, where his body was carefully worshipped like an idol a starved man prayed for salvation to. Tsukiyama whispered sweet words to him, whimpered when Kaneki kissed him or ran his fingers through his hair. He seemed oddly human during this time. His pretenses had dropped, he longer tried to please with superficialities. Vulnerability did that though. Kaneki was sure he could see the real Tsukiyama in how he treated him afterwards. He was gentle, even worrying when laying Kaneki down to sleep after carefully cleaning him with a warm clothe. Kaneki slept quickly after that, his body sprawled over Tsukiyama like a kitten seeking warmth.

\---

Kaneki woke up some time during the night. His body ached in a satisfying way, having been adored so thoroughly multiple times. Kaneki smiled softly to himself. How well everything had gone. He felt content, happy to have finally had a bit of luck in life. Kaneki rolled over and slipped his arm around the pillow he was using. He felt something sharp poke his skin. Curiously he pulled out the object. The corner of the photo underneath the pillow must have stabbed at his skin. What was on the photograph stabbed much deeper. Whatever happiness he had just felt immediately drained away, replaced with a sinking mortification.

It was a photograph of him. It was taken at the university. He was sitting at a picnic table, book in hand with his cup of coffee. How did Tsukiyama have this? It must have been taken months ago, back in the summer. Kaneki clenched the photo, crushing it in his grip. Tsukiyama slept peacefully beside him. Kaneki’s heart beat quickly, adrenaline rushing into his system. What was Tsukiyama hiding from him?

Kaneki’s rustling around in the sheets woke Tsukiyama up. Kaneki gave him no time to think and immediately launched into furious questions.

“Where did you get this photo?” Kaneki demanded. Kaneki had moved as far away from Tsukiyama as the king sized bed would allow. He held the sheet to his chest, covering himself from Tsukiyama’s wandering gaze.

“Mmm?” Tsukiyama was barely awake. He noticed the crumpled photo in Kaneki’s hand and slowly registered what it meant. He saw the confused betrayal on Kaneki’s face, the fear he was surely experiencing.

“Oh that. A little mouse took it for me.” Tsukiyama’s voice was entirely too calm. He laid on his stomach coolly regarding Kaneki. The blanket had slipped from how Kaneki held it, revealing the muscular curve of Tsukiyama’s back. His normally neat hair was disheveled from sex and sleep. It created an all too attractive figure and Kaneki was hating himself for thinking that. This was not the charming man he initially thought he was. He was something more dangerous, disturbed.   

Kaneki backed away further. He lost track of the size of the bed in the dark and gasped as his hand meet with nothing. Kaneki tumbled onto the floor, dragging the sheets with him. He reached out to find something to stop his fall and grabbed the bedside table. It fell with him, knocking the lamp and book it had been supporting to the floor. The book opened during the fall, revealing all of its dirty contents.

It was a photo album Tsukiyama kept on his bedside stand. Kaneki clapped a hand to his mouth. He could feel bile rising in his throat. They were all photos of him: at school, at the coffeeshop, on the train, opening the door to his apartment… Kaneki slammed the album shut and pushed it away from him. Kaneki felt dirty, disgusting. His drew his legs up to his chest, trying to cover himself as best he could. His privacy had been completely ignored. Tsukiyama had tricked him, lied to him, and had succeeded in making Kaneki believe he was actually a decent person.    

Kaneki heard movement from the bed. Tsukiyama sat on the edge of the bed, his bare feet touching the carpeted floor. Kaneki moved further back until his back hit the wall. He glared at Tsukiyama, trying to look angry but most of all he was just afraid.

“What is all this? What kind of sick stalker are you?”

Tsukiyama only smiled lazily. “Stalker has such negative connotations Kaneki-kun. I’m much more of an admirer anyways. I see something beautiful and I simply have to have it.”

Kaneki shuddered. “What the hell are all of these photos then? You followed me, took photos without me knowing? You’re sick.”

Tsukiyama sighed. He massaged his temples as his smile faded away.

“I never followed you anywhere. I only ever saw you around that subpar coffee shop you frequented. As I said before, a little mouse took those photos for me. Oh don’t look at me with that expression,” Tsukiyama cooed. “You were never in any danger.”

Lies. Kaneki looked around the dark room, searching for his clothes. He was in very real danger. Tsukiyama was unpredictable with the means to do him so much harm. Kaneki feared what would happen when he tried to leave, what would happen after he left. The photos had been taken over months. Kaneki was starting to question if his phone had been lost or stolen.

Kaneki stood on shaky legs. He still held the sheet around him. As he gathered his clothing he could feel Tsukiyama watching him, eyes pricking like thorns against his skin. He dressed quickly.

“You’ll want cab fare if you’re traveling anywhere at this time of night,” Tsukiyama commented as Kaneki pulled his pants on. He paused, warily eyeing Tsukiyama. What was he playing at? Kaneki had expected some kind of entrapment. Yet here Tsukiyama was helping him leave?

Kaneki continued dressing, opting to ignore Tsukiyama. He wanted no part of him any longer.

“Here.” Kaneki stopped dressing again, halfway through buttoning his shirt. Tsukiyama had reached over and grabbed money from the fallen stand. He held his hand out, offering the bills to Kaneki. His face held little expression. He just looked tired, like he wanted to return to bed.

“I’m not taking your money.” Kaneki turned his back on Tsukiyama, heading straight for the bedroom door. Seconds later he was being spun around, stumbling over his feet as he was back into the door. Tsukiyama had him pinned against the door, one hand pressed beside his head, the other still holding the wad of bills.

“I’d hate for something to happen to you Kaneki-kun,” Tsukiyama whispered. His voice had taken on the coercive tone Kaneki had briefly heard over the phone. Kaneki reached for the doorknob but Tsukiyama quickly caught his wrist.

“Take the money, take a cab, and get yourself home safely.” Tsukiyama slipped the bills into the back pocket of Kaneki’s pants. He released him after that, not making any further movements to stop him or restrain him or even so much as tightly touch him. He simply stood there in the doorway of his bedroom, calm even in the mess of Kaneki’s tumble and revelation and his own complete exposure. Tsukiyama’s parting words were the most horrifying Kaneki had heard all night.    

“I had a wonderful time, I hope to see you again soon Kaneki-kun.”

Kaneki ran. He could feel his throat constricting, his eyes threatening to water. He had been stupid, so stupid, and was now trapped in this disgusting mess. The proof was stuck with him: Tsukiyama’s marks were deep and would not soon fade. Hide was right. The entire night had been one giant mistake and now Kaneki had nowhere to run. Tsukiyama would find him that much was guaranteed.

Why had he not listened to Hide?


	2. Nasturtium

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have never had such a difficult time writing something before. There was never supposed to be a part 2. But the friend I wrote this for enjoyed it, so at least that makes me a bit happy. Hopefully you can enjoy this too.

It was over burgers that Hide asked about Kaneki’s evening with Tsukiyama. Kaneki swallowed the bite he was chewing, but it only formed a lump in his throat. He gagged and downed his drink, trying to clear away the painful block.

“You okay man?” Hide’s hand hovered over Kaneki’s back, ready to help in case he started choking.

“Fine! Fine.” Kaneki coughed.

“Went down the wrong way.”

Hide shrugged and took another bite of his hamburger.

“Slow down, taste your food,” he offered in between bites.

“You’re one to talk,” Kaneki retorted. Hide grinned and shoved a handful of Kaneki’s fries into his mouth. Kaneki shook his head and slowly ate his own food.

“Anyways you avoided my question. How’d it go?”

Kaneki played around with his fries. He spent too long on dipping them in the ketchup, swirling them slowly as Hide waited. He left the fry discarded in the ketchup and wiped his hands on a napkin.

“It went fine.” Kaneki scratched at his chin.

“I got my phone back and Tsukiyama-san took me out for dinner, nothing out of the ordinary.”

Hide looked skeptical. “Really? Is that why you didn’t text me until noon the day after?”

Kaneki frowned and pulled the neck of his sweater higher. It was warm for fall but the heavy green sweater he wore was the only one with a neckline high enough to hide every dark red mark. Hide did not miss the guilty look in Kaneki’s eyes, like he had been caught doing something he was ashamed off.

“My phone was dead when I got it back.”

“And you didn’t charge it until the next day?” Hide asked, continuing his probing questions.

Kaneki looked away and picked up the fry he had left in his ketchup. Hide was too observant. He needed to stop playing detective before Kaneki got caught up in a lie.

“It slipped my mind,” he said in defence while nibbling on the ketchup soaked fry. “I was tired when I got home from dinner.”

Hide did not look completely impressed but he dropped the topic regardless. He clapped Kaneki on the back and grinned madly while stealing more of his fries.

“I’m just glad you have your phone back. So are you seeing this guy again?”

The colour drained from Kaneki’s face. He quickly glanced outside the restaurant’s window.

“I don’t think so.” He could not pull his eyes away from the street. He looked like he was expecting to see someone outside, waiting for him. He could feel Hide watching him, making a mental note of every out of place action.

“The chemistry wasn’t right,” Kaneki added as he snapped out of his trance, his focus returning to Hide.

Hide raised an eyebrow knowingly, ready to tease Kaneki for his word choice. “So it was a date?”

“I’m not sure?” Kaneki answered unsurely, only to have Hide demand more details, like where he had gone for dinner and why he had not eaten more if it was free.

-

Kaneki was relieved to finally be back in his small apartment. He hated lying to Hide, even if just by omission, but it was all too necessary. Hide would worry incessantly and that was the last thing Kaneki wanted.

Kaneki’s phone buzzed loudly in his pocket. He jumped slightly before pulling the device out. His hand trembled slightly as he flipped it open, apprehensive about the message he was about to read.

_a squirrel just attacked some ladys dog holy shit!!_

Kaneki could not help but laugh. It was only Hide. Trustworthy, good hearted Hide.

He set his phone on the stand beside his bed and dropped down onto his mattress. Kaneki curled into his sheets, welcoming the familiarity and comfort of his own home. In the darkness of his apartment though his thoughts plagued him all too easily, demanding he relive every detail from the other night.

Kaneki should have been honest with Hide. He should have told him how perfect and disastrous the date had gone. He should have told him the real reason he was never seeing Tsukiyama again was because even though he was still completely enamoured by the man, he was very afraid of the extremities he resorted to, and the fact he found them perfectly acceptable.

But Kaneki was not honest with Hide. What would he even be able to do with that information? Kaneki guessed Hide would tell him to report Tsukiyama to the police and have them take care of it. Kaneki already knew that would not work. Tsukiyama had been careful, brilliantly so. Other than the photos there was no proof he had been stalking him. Besides, photos could be destroyed. And even if the police could somehow help him would Tsukiyama even be charged? He had money, businesses, assets; that wealth made him a dangerous man. A carefully placed bribe could all but clear any charge. His charismatic façade too would lead any unknowing person to take his word over Kaneki’s. The combined threat that was Tsukiyama Shuu placed Kaneki in a position he would give anything to be out of.

Kaneki groaned and rolled over in his bed. No, telling Hide would only make things more complicated. He hated this feeling of anxiety. Every time he left his apartment Kaneki worried he would find Tsukiyama waiting for him, leaning against his car, eyes focused only on Kaneki. How easy it would be for Tsukiyama to find him and steal him away. He started with stalking but how far would he go to get what he wanted?

(Why was it that Kaneki wanted to find out?)

-

Days afterward Kaneki still felt apprehensive about leaving his home. A simple day on campus was tinged with fear and disappointment; by the time he returned home he was both relieved and oddly let down to have not seen any sign of Tsukiyama. He looked for him everywhere he went, if only to avoid him, Kaneki used as his excuse. He saw no trace of him though. Not a single attempt was made on Tsukiyama’s part to contact Kaneki. It was as if Tsukiyama had never existed as anything more than a wonderful nightmare, and the now fading marks on Kaneki’s thin body.

It took several weeks for Kaneki to settle down. He stopped worrying about seeing Tsukiyama at any given moment. He no longer saw every unfamiliar face as Tsukiyama’s “little mouse”. Yet his parting words still stuck with him. It was impossible for him to forget how calmly they had been spoken amidst the panic that had been Kaneki’s reaction to his dishonesty.

_I hope to see you again soon Kaneki-kun._

Kaneki doubted they had been spoken as formality. He firmly believed Tsukiyama had every intention to make good on that promise.

As the stress became nothing more than an annoying nag at the back of Kaneki’s mind life regained its dull, peaceful atmosphere. Kaneki enjoyed walking home from school again, and even took his time after class to do the activities he enjoyed.

Kaneki sat at a picnic table in the university courtyard, book in hand, coffee still steaming. The fall weather suited him and he sorely regretted not enjoying it during his weeks of heightened stress. The colours had changed around him without his notice and he had every intention to enjoy the crisp, yet warm air before it changed to winter chills.

“Kaneki-kun?”

Kaneki’s head shot up from where he was focused on his book. He could easily differentiate Tsukiyama’s voice over the din of the other students. Even in his dressed down uniform of cashmere sweaters and designer slacks he was immediately recognisable from across the courtyard. Kaneki’s reaction was to freeze, almost incapable of processing the sight of Tsukiyama. When his brain finally caught up with him his second reaction was to slam his book shut and slip it into his bag before taking off without giving Tsukiyama a second to catch up to him.   

“Kaneki-kun please wait!” Tsukiyama called as Kaneki walked in the opposite direction. His voice was much louder now, and people turned to look at him. Kaneki grimaced. The last thing he wanted was to draw people’s attention to them. Tsukiyama was so adept at drawing the eye though, and more student’s turned to watch the scene as he ran across the courtyard to catch Kaneki.

The better half of Kaneki told him to keep walking, to get on the train and not look back until he was safe at home. Tsukiyama had lied to him, betrayed his trust, and Kaneki could only hazard a guess as to what waited in his future if he did allow Tsukiyama to reach him. The other half of Kaneki … he really wanted to stop. His heart had begun to race when Tsukiyama called out his name, and there was a thrill in having the man relentlessly chase him across the courtyard. Kaneki slowed his steps, then finally came to a stop. He needed to face Tsukiyama despite what both sides said, to settle what had transpired on their date. Mostly he needed to try and find closure for the feelings that plagued him. He could not leave his life in a state of unresolved what ifs.

“ _Mon Dieu,_ you know how to make a man work,” Tsukiyama panted out as he reached Kaneki. He stood up straight and Kaneki wanted to laugh at how comical he appeared. A few strands had fallen lose from his neatly styled bangs, and his breathing was so obviously laboured no matter how hard he tried to mask it. Tsukiyama’s face was tinged red from the fall chill and his whole appearance reminded Kaneki far too much of the intimacies from their night together. Kaneki clenched his hands, just then realizing he had forgotten his coffee on the picnic table.  

He was disappointed in himself for remembering that night so fondly, for still trying to see this man through rose tinted glasses.

“What do you want?” Kaneki asked sharply. He crossed his arms, shrinking in on himself. Tsukiyama stood taller. He brushed his hair back into place and fixed Kaneki with a charming smile. With this façade it was so easy to forget how Tsukiyama showed no remorse for his actions, how he thought stalking an appropriate way to approach someone.

“To see you but of course! You cannot believe how happy I was when I saw you from across the courtyard. I had to take this most fortunate opportunity to meet with you.”

Kaneki felt his stomach churn with butterflies.

“And is this a coincidence? Or did you know I would be here?”

Tsukiyama’s smile did not falter under the accusation.

“An act of fate is what I would call it. The universe must want us to meet again.”

“I would rather we not,” Kaneki said sourly. He spoke what he believed to be true though his mind argued differently.

“I understand your apprehension but I do believe there is a red string that draws us together.”

“A red string?” Kaneki scoffed. “Does it count as fate if you’re the one forcing its hand?”

Kaneki was in no mood for Tsukiyama’s poetics. He had been won over too easily before with his beautiful words. They were a thick thriving garden and in the underbrush of that garden lived poisonous snakes, clever predators all too skilled in ensnaring their prey. Kaneki was determined to avoid becoming that prey once more.

Tsukiyama shrugged. The attempt to maintain his façade hurt Kaneki as much as his lying. He had seen glimpses of Tsukiyama beneath that façade, and maybe he was stupid enough to believe that they were his true nature, not the artificial charm he so easily exerted.

“I simply helped fate along, gave it the smallest of nudges.”

“You had a photographer stalk me!” Kaneki snapped. “You betrayed my trust, made me think you were someone I could- and then you completely-”

Kaneki curled in tighter on himself, fingers digging into where he held his arms to his chest. His eyes were starting to sting. At least Tsukiyama finally had the decency to look apologetic. He reached out an arm to try and comfort Kaneki, but Kaneki stepped back. He could feel them garnering attention, though no one would ever admit to watching the pair. Everyone was too polite, too worried about standing out to intervene.

“Good day Tsukiyama-san,” Kaneki said abruptly. Kaneki needed to escape from the pain in his chest. Tsukiyama was the cause of that pain. He only hurt all the more when Tsukiyama put a steady hand on his shoulder, refusing to let him leave.      

“I completely made a disaster of everything,” Tsukiyama said sadly, finishing Kaneki’s earlier thought for him. Kaneki’s eyes widened. Was Tsukiyama admitting his transgressions?

“I went about this entirely wrong and I fear I may have ruined what could have been a beautiful relationship. I do not want you to think of me as the man who hurt you, but I also do not want you to think I am not remorseful for having hurt you.” 

Kaneki watched wide eyed in slight mortification as Tsukiyama lowered himself onto one knee. He took Kaneki’s cold hands in his own.

“What are you doing? We’re in public, stand up,” Kaneki hissed. People were trying not to look but even the most uninterested could not fight glancing over at the pair.

“ _Non_ , not until I say my apologies.”

Kaneki frantically looked around in a slight panic. Tsukiyama showed no signs of getting up. He stayed in position, waiting for Kaneki to focus on him and only him.

“Say them then,” Kaneki blurted out. Taking no mind of how upset Kaneki was at the situation Tsukiyama launched into his apology.

“Kaneki-kun, I see that what I did hurt you, and betrayed your trust, and sullied your perception of me. I never intended for that to happen, believe me.” Tsukiyama took a breath and fixed Kaneki with the neediest of expressions.

“I want to make this up to you. I want to show you how truly sorry I am. Please, one more chance; that is all I ask.”

Kaneki was at a loss. He could see the remorse on Tsukiyama’s face. He could hear the uncharacteristic strain in his voice. Yet despite how Tsukiyama acted in this moment Kaneki could not help but worry that it was all an act. Tsukiyama was reciting his beautiful words, saying the exact thing he expected Kaneki would want to hear. Kaneki was afraid he was staring too deeply at the garden again, forgetting about the snake that lurked in wait for him. 

“I- I don’t know if I can,” Kaneki answered shakily. Tsukiyama’s expression upon hearing those words was almost as upsetting as discovering the photo album. It was pure melancholy, something any person could see was heartbreak.

“Kaneki-kun, please,” Tsukiyama begged softly. His hold tightened on Kaneki’s hands. “I need to make this right.” 

Kaneki worried for his own sanity. He found Tsukiyama’s voice too enticing, too easy to want to forgive.

“Stand up,” Kaneki answered as softly. Tsukiyama must have feared upsetting Kaneki further. He got off the ground and brushed his pants off.

“One chance. You have one opportunity to change my mind.” Tsukiyama’s expression changed instantaneously. His eyes were bright, his charming smile back in place.

“Kaneki-kun-”

“I wasn’t finished,” Kaneki interrupted, surprised at his voice for so easily being able to cut off anyone. He noticed how Tsukiyama eyed him in amusement. He must have been surprised at well.

Kaneki took a deep breath.

“We do this on my terms. I choose the location, I choose the time. You do anything suspicious and I’m gone.”

Tsukiyama nodded vigorously, caught on every one of Kaneki’s words. Kaneki could only hope every word was respected, though he did remember Tsukiyama being a surprisingly decent listener, at least for him.

“Anything you say Kaneki-kun, I will do whatever you want of me.”

Kaneki frowned. With all of his dramatics it was difficult to tell the genuine words from the fine script he kept ready. Which words flowed from the heart and which were his shallow performance?

“Then you’ll wait for me to contact you. Be patient, and you better hope I don’t see any cameras until then.”

-

Kaneki felt shaken. He had never been so forward with someone before. It was a foreign feeling to be the one telling someone else what to do, to be the one taking control of a situation. And to have them listen so intently, and actually do as he said… Kaneki had stepped so outside of what he was comfortable with that it was terrifying almost, to take that control for himself. The second Tsukiyama left Kaneki dropped onto the closest bench. He dropped his bag beside him, looked up at the clear, autumn sky, and breathed deeply.

Despite all of that he had felt detached in the moment, like he was watching his actions from outside of his body, unable to rationalize or stop them.  He should have rationalized them though. If only he had taken a second to think, a second to stop himself. Tsukiyama did not deserve a second chance. Kaneki knew this and yet he still gave him one. Hide would call him insane. Without any hesitation Kaneki would agree.

-

Finding the courage to contact Tsukiyama was easier than Kaneki could ever anticipate. For days his fingers were restless, typing than erasing text messages to Tsukiyama without sending a single one. He needed to wait, to test Tsukiyama to see if he too could wait knowing he would be able to see Kaneki again. To Kaneki’s surprise he did. Tsukiyama made no attempt to contact Kaneki just as he had demanded. It was a small step, but it was the first one on Tsukiyama’s lengthy road to forgiveness.

A week was the time Kaneki made Tsukiyama wait. It was all he could bear to wait as well.

The next day saw them seated at a busy brand name coffee shop, loud and filled with people. It was not Kaneki’s preferred café but it meet his purposes. He needed a public setting, somewhere Tsukiyama would be bound by the eyes of society.

“I don’t want you getting any ideas,” Kaneki started as Tsukiyama returned with their coffees. He set a cup down in front of Kaneki and took the chair opposite him. Kaneki sniffed at the drink before taking a cautious sip. The taste was bitter but delicious.

“I’m here for closure on what happened.”

“But of course,” Tsukiyama said in agreement. “Finishing one chapter of life before starting the next is only sensible.    

Tsukiyama took up his own cup, breathing in the scent deeply before allowing the drink anywhere near his lips. Even drinking coffee in public became a grand show.

“This is a chapter I would rather forget completely.” Kaneki let the heat from his mug warm his hands. It was cold outside, and his thin gloves did little to keep his hands warm. He was almost envious of the rich leather gloves Tsukiyama had been wearing earlier, and the heavy wool of his perfectly fitted overcoat.

“I too want nothing more than to move past this.”    

Kaneki took a deep breath and held his mug tighter. “I need you to destroy the album and any photos you have of me.”

Tsukiyama leaned forward, intrigued. Kaneki gulped back any remaining nerves and continued.

“Then I need you to promise me that the stalking will stop for good. No more photos, no more going behind my back.” Kaneki released his mug, noticing how tight his hands had gone around it. He let them relax on the table in an attempt to calm himself from so bluntly confronting his stalker’s habits. Tsukiyama reached out to try and gently grab Kaneki’s hands. Kaneki drew them away from Tsukiyama’s touch. If Tsukiyama was disappointed he did not let it show through his expression.

“You have not been followed in weeks _mon chère_ , not since our first date,” Tsukiyama was quick to reassure. “I was worried by how shaken you were, and quickly saw how wrong I had been.”

Tsukiyama offered Kaneki a perfectly practiced smile and reached for his hand once more. Kaneki moved his hand away again, and returned to holding his coffee mug to occupy them. This time he noticed the quick furrow of Tsukiyama’s brows and the displeasure that snuck into his expression.

“Would a stronger showing of trust be better suited then?” Tsukiyama asked as his expression returned to his relaxed smile.

Kaneki regarded Tsukiyama skeptically. “What do you mean?”

“The album,” Tsukiyama answered simply. He sipped at his coffee and leaned back in his seat, clearly at ease despite Kaneki’s scrutiny.

“Instead of destroying it I will give it to you. My fate will be in your hands to do with as you please.” Destroy the album, keep it, use it as evidence against me, I do not care as long as it is your decision.”

Kaneki raised an eyebrow at Tsukiyama’s offer.

Giving him the album was such a gamble on his part that Kaneki had a difficult time believing it could be true.

Giving him the album meant Kaneki carried heavy collateral over Tsukiyama.

Giving him the album was quite honestly the last thing he expected Tsukiyama to do.     

“I’ll take it. You can’t lie about destroying it this way.”

Tsukiyama nodded his agreement. “It’s a much better solution than leaving it to me. Think of it as the first part of my penitence.”

They fell into a silence after that, not quite comfortable but not extraordinarily painful either. Kaneki watched the other patrons, wondering what had brought them to this coffee store. A young couple sat nearby, laughing heartily as they fed each other bits of scone. There were students present as well, working on assignments while doing their best to ignore their phones. Kaneki wondered if Tsukiyama’s photographer had ever sat in a coffee shop like this, watching Kaneki study, completely oblivious to others around him. He wondered if Tsukiyama had ever peered inside, impatient for the photos to be developed.    

“I am curious; why did you agree to see me again?” Tsukiyama queried after he finished the last of his coffee. He pushed the cup to the side, and fixed Kaneki under the full force of his red eyes. Kaneki could not look at him. He stared into his cup, his reflection staring back in the dark dredges of his lukewarm coffee.

“I said earlier, I wanted closure,” Kaneki said. Tsukiyama had no problem seeing through his excuse.

“Closure could have been found over the phone. Why meet with me?” Despite the softness of tone his voice was smug, ripe with satisfaction. He knew why Kaneki returned. He wanted to hear the reason from the young man’s lips, in his shy, unsure voice.

“I’m not entirely sure,” Kaneki replied after a pause. He continued to stare into his drink. He did not have to look up to know Tsukiyama had a smirk on his face.  

“Do you want to know what I think?” Tsukiyama asked. Kaneki did not bother to reply. Tsukiyama would tell him regardless of his answer.

“I want to believe that you harbour feelings for me, just as I have feelings for you.”

Kaneki wanted to laugh bitterly. Feelings? For Tsukiyama? He sighed in exasperation.

The man may have unfortunately been correct. 

“You don’t deserve them.” Kaneki sounded tired, defeated.

“ _Oui_ , you are right about that. I do not deserve them.”

The coffee shop had begun to quiet down. The afternoon rush was over; the world had more important things to attend to.

“But I will make you see I deserve them. Kaneki-kun I will do whatever I must to win your heart back.”

Kaneki cracked a half-hearted smile. It was for the best Tsukiyama did not know how easy it would be to win his heart back, or how desperately he craved any kind of love. 

-

Kaneki did not often receive packages, so he was surprised when he found a heavy brown parcel outside of his front door the next morning. It had no address on it, but the hand written card and red rose that laid on top of it made the sender all too obvious.

Kaneki set the package down on the table. He knew the album was inside and knew that he needed to open it to make sure but he worried about what feelings would arise when he did. Starting with the card was easier. He opened that and stared at the beautiful writing on the thick white stock.

_Yours are the only hands I would trust with every secret of mine._

There was no need for a signature. The card and flower were overbearingly romantic, and in Kaneki’s opinion rather off putting. He did not enjoy the spin Tsukiyama was trying to put on giving the album to him.

Kaneki set the card and flower aside and focused on the parcel itself. The book was wrapped in brown parcel paper and tied together neatly with thin twine. The package had Kaneki’s name written on it in the same elegant hand but carried no other information. It was very Tsukiyama to use an antique style. He could picture Tsukiyama hand delivering it himself, trying his hardest to avoid temptation and waking Kaneki. Or maybe temptation had not been an issue. He could imagine Tsukiyama getting wrapped up in the romanticism of a hand delivered package, tied with twine and topped with a fresh cut rose.

Kaneki opened the package. The paper crinkled as he unfolded it, revealing the leather bound photo album. He gulped, uncomfortable by the mere sight of it. Taking a deep breath he opened it, just to check that Tsukiyama had given him the proper book and not some replica.

Pictures of himself looked back, photos invading into the privacy of his life. They were so quiet, intimate, revealing the mundane that Kaneki lived every day. Kaneki was quick to slam the album shut. That was all he needed to see.

As he folded the paper back around it, tucking the card inside he could hear Hide chiding him, telling him to take the album to the proper authorities. He could request a restraining order, do something with this evidence to get Tsukiyama out of his life. Kaneki took the album and tucked it away on the top shelf of his closet, where it would stay ignored and eventually forgotten.

-

The meeting at the coffee shop lead to a second date, brought to life the following weekend per Tsukiyama’s request. The album had been a strong gesture, and Kaneki was curious to see what a second proper date would entail. His criteria remained the same; public with many people present. The rest was left a mystery.

The mystery was solved with another parcel left on his door step, wrapped in the same paper and topped with a fresh cut rose. Kaneki wondered if these were going to become a regular occurrence. He hoped they would not. 

He opened the package, entirely unsure of what to expect. Inside was a black suit, formal yet still simple enough to fit Kaneki’s tastes. He could only imagine what kind of price tag had been attached, and what kind of designer labels were still inside.

Kaneki slipped the suit jacket on over his shirt. The lining felt exquisite against his bare arms. More important though was how perfectly it fit, and the envelope he found tucked into the pocket. The envelope was thin and Kaneki half expected to find another photo inside. Instead he found tickets to the orchestra, with curtain call on the exact day and time of their decided date.  

Kaneki sighed as he tucked the envelope back into the jacket. Did Tsukiyama ever do anything without the intention of impressing others, without the intent of flaunting his wealth?

Kaneki was positive the answer was no as Tsukiyama arrived in a different expensive car to pick Kaneki up that evening.

“Thank you for the suit,” Kaneki said politely after the car had begun moving.

“It fits you very well. Though now I feel like I should have given you outerwear as well,” Tsukiyama said. He made a disappointed face at how Kaneki’s coat fit over his suit. It did not match in the least and was far too short. Kaneki could not go without a coat though as the cold weather had set in.

“But I felt you would have thought it too much.”

“Even this is too much,” Kaneki said. The amount of money Tsukiyama could spend on a single evening was baffling.

“It is well worth it I assure you. Seeing you dressed so finely, spending this evening with you, I’d pay anything for this.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t focus so hard on impressing me. I don’t really care about your money or how much of it you spend on me,” Kaneki replied bluntly.

“You don’t want to be impressed?” Tsukiyama’s brow furrowed as he tried to understand.

“There’s something to be said in sincerity,” Kaneki explained. “You don’t need to put on this show for me.”

Tsukiyama’s mouth nearly hung open. For once he was speechless. He had never been told he was trying too hard, or that his money was irrelevant when it came to someone’s interest in him.

“What can I do then?” He sounded lost. He was a child unsure of how to make friends, or play fairly.

“You need to be the one to figure that out.” Kaneki crossed his arms. He stared out the window as the chauffeur drove them closer to the concert hall. He did not see Tsukiyama pout slightly, or how his face scrunched up in thought afterwards.

Tsukiyama did not know how to win someone over without the use of money or expensive gestures. What was it Kaneki wanted from him he wondered as the chauffeur stopped the car in the drop off zone.  

Tsukiyama quickly got out and walked over to Kaneki’s side. He opened the door for him and bowed slightly as he stepped out of the car. Tsukiyama was silent as he led them to coat check. He was thinking still, pondering over Kaneki’s words and just how he could show his sincerity. He blindly handed over his coat and scarf, and was so distracted that Kaneki was the one who paid for their coat check fee.

“Tsukiyama-san?”

It was not until he heard Kaneki’s voice that he shook off the extent of his thoughts, vowing to return to them at a better time. Kaneki was looking up at him, not frustrated by any means but simply curious over his sudden silence. He understood that it certainly was strange for him to fall quiet at such a strange moment.

“Are you alright?” Kaneki asked as he handed him his ticket. “I was sure you’d regal me with stories of your past experiences here. An opera you’ve seen or the past concert you’ve attended?”

Tsukiyama wanted to laugh. That certainly did sound like him.

“Sorry. I seem to have forgotten myself.”

Kaneki raised an eyebrow at his behaviour. He did not expect Tsukiyama to fall short of his façade, especially in a place where he surely should have flourished. The entire atmosphere lent so easily to conversation, yet Kaneki had not heard Tsukiyama utter more than ten words since leaving the car. Had it been something he said? Had he offended the man when he said he did not care for his money?

Kaneki wanted to say something but he really was unsure of what would pull Tsukiyama out of his slump, and what would encourage him far too much. He opened his mouth to speak but closed it.

Tsukiyama noticed the small action. Kaneki worried far too much was his personal opinion. He wished he could relax and enjoy the evening. He also wished he could come up with the perfect way to complement Kaneki on how he looked in the suit he had selected for him. It fit perfectly, emphasizing the curve of his waist and the shape of his legs. He was entirely too handsome and Tsukiyama wanted nothing more than to have him as his own; winning back his trust and eventual love was all he craved.

Tsukiyama sighed.

“ _Désolé_ , perhaps I shall find myself during the performance. Come, let us take our seats.”

Kaneki was unsurprised by the private box Tsukiyama took them too. At this point he expected the finest when Tsukiyama did anything, though he did wish for something more simple, more personal and human. They took their seats and waited for the curtain to raise. In that time Tsukiyama remained quiet, speaking only to give Kaneki the barest of information about the orchestra that would be playing.

As the lights dimmed and curtain raised the din of the audience fell silent, and Tsukiyama stared expectantly at the stage.

Kaneki only half heard the music. His focus continuously wandered to Tsukiyama who was so thoroughly invested in the performance that he ignored Kaneki and his probing gaze.

Tsukiyama’s eyes never left the stage, though at times they would slide shut, reopening when a certain section had ended. There would be the faintest of smiles on his lips, one that held no other motive than to show his own pleasure derived from the music. It was a bizarre insight into Tsukiyama’s façade, his boisterous mask softened by the anonymity of the dimly lit concert hall. In a way it left Kaneki off guard.

Was this how he watched him when he was not paying attention? Was Tsukiyama entranced by Kaneki as he was with the orchestra’s music? Kaneki hoped he was, had always wished for someone to look at him with such attentive eyes and soft smile.

By intermission Kaneki was thoroughly confused when Tsukiyama’s attention finally fell back on him.

“We must get drinks,” Tsukiyama exclaimed pleasantly as he ushered Kaneki away from his private box.

“Just water please,” Kaneki requested. They wove their way through the intermission crowds. Kaneki was overwhelmed by the amount of finely dressed people. He feared the same looks he had been given at the restaurant; people would surely look down at him and see past the fine clothes Tsukiyama had given him. He pulled at his sleeves and stared at his feet while he walked.          

Several people approached Tsukiyama, men and women dressed in fine suits and beautiful dresses. All were eager to start conversation but Tsukiyama brushed them aside, excusing himself as already engaged with far more pleasant company. They saw Kaneki walking far too close beside Tsukiyama. Some gave him a knowing look. Others turned their nose up at him.  

Kaneki felt a comforting hand at the small of his back. “Ignore them. You look fine _mon chère,_ very handsome.”

Tsukiyama had the same smile he wore when the orchestra had been playing. This was the sincerity Kaneki had been wanting. 

“I don’t know. These people clearly see something else,” Kaneki said bitterly, his own personal self-deprecation.

“They’re wrong. I see a handsome young man, who is much more intelligent and interesting than any of my acquaintances combined.”

“Do you really think that?” Kaneki asked. Tsukiyama kept his hand on the small of his back and leaned closer to speak into his ear.

“I know so. I can’t stand to be around them. You though, I want nothing more than to spend time with you, to learn more about you.” Tsukiyama’s voice was low in his ear, the very act intimate in the dazzling publicity of the concert hall. Kaneki felt his blood rush, coursing hotly through his veins to places he did not want to think about in public.  

“Allow me two seconds to fetch drinks.” Kaneki had no time to object. Tsukiyama had vanished into the crowd. He returned just as quickly, a delicate glass of champagne held in each hand.

“That’s not water,” Kaneki objected wearily as Tsukiyama placed the glass flute in his hand.

“I know. But I thought such a wonderful evening deserved champagne.” Tsukiyama raised his glass to Kaneki then took a long sip. Kaneki watched as the bubbles moved through his glass, flowing to the top in an endless stream. The champagne was perfectly chilled, and Kaneki was rather thirsty.

“I suppose…” Kaneki took a small sip. He could not say no to something that had already been purchased. It was delicious. He took another longer sip.

“See? Better than water.”

“I wouldn’t necessarily say that.” Champagne did taste wonderful, Kaneki could not deny that. The lights around them began to flash in rhythmic succession, and a bell sounded over the speakers.

“Ah, intermission is over. We must return to our seats.” Tsukiyama tilted his head back, draining the last of his drink. Kaneki did his best to finish his glass, drinking what he could before returning to Tsukiyama’s box. The speed in which he drank it left his chest pleasantly warm, though it was not nearly enough to dull any of his senses.   

“I do hope you’re enjoying yourself,” Tsukiyama said quietly as they settled back into their seats.

“I did my best to keep the location as public as possible as per your request. I hope you did not mind the car though. Public transportation would have made us late and it will make the return trip so much easier for you this late at night. I can send the driver with only you if you prefer, and have him pick me up afterwards-”

“Tsukiyama-san,” Kaneki interrupted. He rested his hand on Tsukiyama’s arm. Tsukiyama froze, his rambles left to hang in the air. The lights dimmed, the crowd quieted.   

“Tonight has been surprising, but, pleasantly so. I honestly didn’t expect you to listen to me so I appreciate you doing that.” Kaneki’s voice was a whisper and Tsukiyama leaned in close to catch every precious word.

“So after this I think we could try somewhere more private. Your apartment would work.”

The curtain rose once more and Kaneki turned his focus to the stage. He wondered how Tsukiyama was looking at him. Was it shock, elated anticipation, happiness even? Kaneki did his best to appear calm despite how quickly his heart beat against his chest. He hoped Tsukiyama felt the same, any hope of listening to the last part of the performance overwhelmed by Kaneki’s sudden proposition.

Kaneki no longer heard Hide reprimanding him at the back of his head. Instead he watched on, arms crossed in disappointment at Kaneki’s decisions.

-

The apartment was exactly as Kaneki remembered; monochrome, refined, but the flower arrangements had all been changed. Kaneki reached out and touched one of the arrangements. Small colourful flowers took up the table near the door, the first splash of colour someone would see when entering the apartment. Their petals were soft against Kaneki’s skin, and left the tips of his fingers smelling like their fragrance.

“Nasturtiums,” Tsukiyama hummed. He put his hands on Kaneki’s shoulders and leaned over him. He sniffed at the small flowers.

“Known for their bright colours and fragrant smell. In the language of flowers they mean ‘conquest’ or ‘victory in battle’.” Tsukiyama’s voice was low in Kaneki’s ear. He trembled, the word conquest ringing through his mind.

“May I take your coat?” Tsukiyama asked pleasantly, his demeanour completely flipped. Kaneki nodded and Tsukiyama waited for the sound of a zipper before pulling the article of clothing from Kaneki’s frame.

“I don’t feel like I’ve reiterated how grateful I am for this second chance. You’ve been so full of surprises tonight,” Tsukiyama said as he hung Kaneki’s coat in the front closet.

“You don’t deserve it,” Kaneki responded automatically. His words were soft; he could not bring himself to hold any malice. Kaneki saw how Tsukiyama’s shoulders dropped. His lips were down turned and he looked nothing but apologetic.   

“You are still right about that. I do not deserve this. But it fills me with such joy knowing you have given me a second chance.”

Kaneki crossed his arms. Tsukiyama sounded genuine. He had been sincere throughout their entire evening together. Yet despite everything he had done to prove his repentance Kaneki still felt like he had somehow played exactly into Tsukiyama’s plans.

“Well, you’ve done a lot to try and make it up to me… and you did give me the album. You’re trying, I can see that.”

Tsukiyama was trying hard. The action of giving Kaneki the album alone was almost enough to completely change Kaneki’s mind. Kaneki kept a dangerous object in his closet, and Tsukiyama had made a risky gamble by giving it away. He was lucky to have his hand play so well.

“I will continue to try. I want you to be able to trust me Kaneki-kun.”

“Coming back here takes a good deal of trust,” Kaneki stated. He walked the length of the hall towards the living room. Everything was impeccably clean. Kaneki thought it detached in its cleanliness, like the house was hardly lived in. Where did Tsukiyama’s interests and personality shone through? His apartment was simply another stage, a continuation of the role he expected himself to fulfill.

“It does. You caught me off guard when you made the suggestion.” Tsukiyama’s voice was distant. He was still in the front hall, putting his coat and gloves away.

“I might have gotten a bit caught up in the moment,” Kaneki admitted. He seated himself on the couch, and waited for Tsukiyama to join him. He appeared seconds later. He carried his suit jacket in his arms and was working on loosening his tie as he sat next to Kaneki. He left space between them, enough to let Kaneki see that he was still thinking of what impression his actions would leave.      

“I’m glad you did.”

 Kaneki nodded absent mindedly. He was entranced by the impressive bookshelves and the many tomes they held. His mind wandered from there, moving on to the beautiful window that took up the entire back wall. The curtains were open and he could see the entire city below. The lights were stunning and Kaneki was too easily reminded of how he had had his back pressed against that window, legs wrapped tightly around Tsukiyama’s waist as they touched each other for the first time. It had been such a picture perfect moment, before the image had been ruined.

“I should probably go.” Kaneki moved to stand but his wrist was caught by Tsukiyama. His grip was not firm; he only held the corner of Kaneki’s sleeve.

“No, please. There has to be something that keeps you coming back,” Tsukiyama said, his voice a soft plea in Kaneki’s ears.

Kaneki turned his head. On the meticulously clean glass coffee table was a book. A bookmark poked out from within its crisp pages. Kaneki picked up the book and idly flipped through it. There were notes in the margins, written in Tsukiyama’s elegant hand. Tsukiyama stared, captivated as Kaneki observed the book before setting it back down.  

“For all of your flaws I do genuinely believe that you are a decent person. I want to like you, I just- I don’t want to be disappointed again.” Kaneki smiled sadly as he continued to look at the book, even after putting it back in its place.

“So don’t give me another reason to stop coming back. There isn’t many keeping me here right now.”

_Just my own irrational emotions_ , Kaneki thought. The mind was prone to oddities and after letting Tsukiyama back into his life Kaneki had stopped trying to understand his. He could never explain why he had kept the album a secret, or why he had agreed to the second date after their coffee shop rendezvous.

“I’ll make reasons for you to keep coming back, I’ll do whatever you want me to. Just, please. Make room for me in your world,” Tsukiyama begged. He took both of Kaneki’s hands and held them gently. Kaneki did not pull away. There was something in Tsukiyama’s eyes that he pitied, a fear of rejection, of losing the one you cherished.

_“Mon chère_ , please.” It was difficult to refuse his voice in its beautiful sincerity. Kaneki wanted to hate how it sounded. If he could have he would have refused Tsukiyama time and time again. He would have never seen himself back in this apartment, once more craving Tsukiyama’s touch. But Kaneki was weak.

The truth he was so clearly seeing was that he was back. He was incapable of refusing Tsukiyama, incapable of hating him after what he had done. If Kaneki were to finally be honest he would admit how much he loved the effort Tsukiyama was showing to gain his favour. He would say to himself how happy he was that someone had found interest in him, putting him over all others.

Those were selfish thoughts and Kaneki tried his hardest to be selfless, like his mother before him. But he saw what selflessness achieved. An early grave, a tired life; Kaneki wanted neither of those things. Maybe Tsukiyama was a rare individual, one he could be a little selfish with.

Kaneki moved closer. His knee pressed against Tsukiyama’s and he leaned into the man’s body.

“I shouldn’t be doing this,” Kaneki whispered. His breath ghosted across Tsukiyama’s lips. His lips hovered so close that when Tsukiyama spoke they nearly touched in a gentle caress.

“I’m glad you are,” Tsukiyama said in the same hushed tones. His gaze quickly shifted to Kaneki’s lips, and if Kaneki had blinked in that second he would have missed it.

“ _S’il vous plaît,_ may I kiss you?” Tsukiyama asked breathlessly. He sounded so needy that it was impossible for Kaneki to refuse him.

“Yes,” he answered. In the same breath he pressed his lips to Tsukiyama’s. Kaneki did not realize how much effort he had put into holding back. When he finally released his inhibitions, stopped himself from thinking, the world began moving around them in double time.

Their kiss turned needy as Kaneki stopped trying to understand his emotions. His body gave in all too easily; he reciprocated every desperate kiss like they had left off after their first meeting, Kaneki’s body still light and airy from expensive wine and a pleasant night. 

Tsukiyama had clearly been awaiting this from the way his hands skimmed over every inch of Kaneki’s clothed body, not sure of where to begin but so eager to have everything. He relaxed against the couch, laying back and pulling Kaneki on top of him. He could not have been more ecstatic when Kaneki started to undress him. He pulled at his tie until it was loose enough to slip over Tsukiyama’s head. Once discarded Kaneki began kissing him again, impatiently biting at Tsukiyama’s bottom lip as he blindly worked on the buttons of his dress shirt.

Tsukiyama shivered slightly as his shirt slid down his arms, falling forgotten on the floor with his tie. He wanted to thank every deity for Kaneki’s enthusiasm but found it sorely unfair how Kaneki remained fully dressed, when all he wanted was to see the beautiful body that lay hidden beneath the folds of the gifted suit. Tsukiyama sat up and Kaneki moved with him until he was comfortably straddling the man beneath him.

The jacket was gone seconds later, Kaneki realizing what Tsukiyama wanted as soon as he began undoing the buttons.

“The couch is a bit small,” Kaneki panted as he turned his head away from Tsukiyama’s. His kiss landed on Kaneki’s cheek, and he took it as an opportunity to move his lips down his jaw, and along his neck that was slowly revealed as he undid Kaneki’s tie and popped the first few buttons of his shirt.

Tsukiyama groaned at the suggestion, continuing to undo each button. The fact that Kaneki suggested they move was more than Tsukiyama could handle, combined with his breathless voice and it was almost unfair what the young man could do to him.

“Then we move.” Kaneki felt his head rush as Tsukiyama picked him up with zero warning. Just as quickly he was dropped onto the plush bed. Kaneki gulped. Tsukiyama waited at the foot of the bed, watching him with warm, unbelieving eyes. Kaneki could see how aroused he was; the lump at the front of his pants was a giveaway of that. Yet he waited, hesitantly almost.

“Is everything okay?” Kaneki queried. He was worried. Why did Tsukiyama stop?

“Yes, yes. Everything is perfect.” Tsukiyama stepped forward. Kaneki felt the mattress dip under the added weight.

“You’re perfect.” Tsukiyama kissed Kaneki slowly. Kaneki supposed he was meant to swoon at such a line. He did not but he did get caught up in the kiss. He hands roamed across Tsukiyama’s chest. His body and the way he kissed him were perhaps more reasons worth staying.   

Kaneki heard the clink of his belt buckle and the sound of a zipper being pulled down. He gasped as Tsukiyama palmed at him through his open pants. The sensation only lasted a second though. Tsukiyama was eager to rid Kaneki of the last of his clothing.

Tsukiyama wasted no time. Every inch of Kaneki’s skin was worshipped with hot open mouthed kisses. Tsukiyama left no place untouched. Kaneki’s breathing grew heavy as Tsukiyama worked lower, mouth trailing over the inside of his thighs and working down his legs, purposely ignoring Kaneki’s needy erection. Kaneki whined and reached for Tsukiyama. His hands fisted in his hair and he took great pleasure in messing it, ruining his achieved perfection.

He could feel Tsukiyama smile against the inside of his thigh as he guided him towards his erection. Tsukiyama could not deny Kaneki anything. He playfully met his eyes and placed a feather light kiss against the tip. Kaneki bit his lip and sighed. Tsukiyama understood this as an open invitation. He ran his tongue along the entire length before completely taking Kaneki into his mouth. Kaneki gasped loudly and pulled at Tsukiyama’s hair.  

Tsukiyama moaned around Kaneki’s length. He was painfully aroused. He could feel himself straining against his dress pants. He palmed himself through the fabric, urged on by Kaneki’s raspy breaths. He would have been embarrassed by how close he was to coming if it was not for Kaneki spread out beneath him, every intimate part on display.

Kaneki’s toes curled into the fabric of the blankets, while his back arched off the bed. He was so close, so near that hot climax. His hips thrust upwards and Tsukiyama made a soft strangled sound. He took it in stride though, allowing Kaneki to thrust as he needed to reach that place of bliss. Tsukiyama enjoyed it too. Kaneki using him like this, so perfectly abusing his throat, Tsukiyama was two seconds short of climaxing too.

Kaneki’s thrusts came faster and Tsukiyama felt his eyes water as he continued to slam into the back of his throat. Kaneki’s moans grew louder, too far gone to care about any form of volume control of restraint. Finally he stilled, hands tight in Tsukiyama’s hair. Hot liquid poured down Tsukiyama’s throat. Tsukiyama was ashamed to say he came seconds later. His pants caught everything but he would deal with that mess after Kaneki was made comfortable.

He released Kaneki with a wet pop and wiped at his mouth with the back of his hand. Kaneki looked so lovely, chest heaving, eyes glazed over; but he looked tired, so very tired. Tsukiyama draped the throw blanket over Kaneki as he curled in on himself. He hummed, content, and pulled the blanket close.

“I’ll be right back _mon amour_ ,” Tsukiyama whispered fondly. Kaneki did not hear him. His eyes were shut, his breathing already even again. Tsukiyama smiled, perhaps the most genuine of any smile he had ever worn. He placed a light kiss to Kaneki’s temple and retreated to the bathroom.

-

The bright moonlight interrupted Kaneki’s restful sleep. He sat up and drew his knees to his chest. The sheets pooled around his waist as he looked out the window at the night sky. Tsukiyama laid beside him, so deep in sleep that he did not stir from the light or movement.

Kaneki wondered what secrets the moon would tell if it could speak. Did it know of Tsukiyama and his stalking? Could it have warned Kaneki and saved him the humiliation? Was it frowning upon him now, judgmental of the decisions he had made? It probably did not even care. The moon saw everyone’s secrets. It could hardly be concerned with his sad life.

If Kaneki could tell the moon a secret of his he would reveal how he hoped this thing, whatever it was he had with Tsukiyama, would work out.

 

End


	3. 2.1 Alternate Ending

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was meant to be the original ending but I wanted them to be happy so I took it out because I'm a sappy baby.

It was a cold morning, the kind of day where no warmth could be found. The wind bit into Hide’s skin and he held the small folder he carried closer for fear of the wind catching the papers and blowing them away. He did not want to be here but after several days he did not know what else to do.

Hide marched into the police station and walked straight up to the front desk. He set the file down and opened it to a photo of Kaneki.

“I need to file a missing persons report.”

 

End


End file.
